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Welcome to BadmintonStamps. We're Philabuster and SkinnySlim, representing Philly and NYC respectively. We are very good looking. Thanks.

January 31, 2008

Thursday Photo Esssay

X Marx The Spot

Photo Credit)

Thursday Photo Esssay

A Girl's Gotta Get Her Cookie

Photo Credit)

BadmintonStamps' Philly Sound Clash Endorsement: GANG

Let's preface this whole thing by making one point very clear: in a battle of the bands, nobody wins. The audience at these events is comprised of people who, unless they are there specifically to cheer for your band, are there specifically not to cheer for your band under any circumstance. The judging panels are frequently populated with people
who have no business telling anybody what sort of music to make, and will laud only those acts who pander to their particular predetermined idea of cool or remind them of their own failed and unlistenable musical endeavors. And in an era where "selling out" becomes more of a philosophical fossil with each passing day, the spectacle of artists competing for cash and prizes still smacks faintly of fresh marrow. All in all, band battles are just the sort of music industry nonsense with which BadmintonStamps looks forward to never being associated.

That said, our disdain alone will not make events such as Philly Sound Clash go away. And since $2,000 and city-wide rental car omnipresence seem like a dangerous combination in the wrong hands, we feel obliged, Philadelphia, to offer you some guidance through what is a long, messy, and generally under-qualified list of candidates.

Without further ado, BadmintonStamps is proud to endorse GANG as clearly the best choice in the 2008 Philly Sound Clash. Their non-stop party-hop comes correct in all the best ways. They hold dear our god-given right to fuck shit up and look good doing it. And they know that the path towards a more secure homeland begins by taking care of those damned dirty rats.

There you have it, people. The ballot is right this way. We urge you to vote early, often, and if possible, while driving a Mini Cooper.

January 29, 2008


I find that often, when someone says, "I don't give a fuck," they actually give quite a fuck indeed. Usually it comes after a disagreement, where the person is using the code "I don't give a fuck" to mean "We can do what you want, but I'm going to be very unhappy about it." But the not giving a fuck can also be used to lay claim to a sort of false punk rock, go-with-the-flow aesthetic. For example, I don't think there is any single demographic of people who claim they don't give a fuck more frequently than rappers. And I don't think there is any single demographic of people who actually give more of a fuck than rappers. These are people who will throw out their pristine white sneakers if a speck of dirt gets on them. They (claim they) will kill you if you even look at them funny. And God help you if you mess with their money. Guys, that's called caring. Humorously, it's actually called caring about very silly things. Fittingly, of all of the rappers, the one that seems to give the most of a fuck is the one who wrote the anthem, "I Just Don't Give A Fuck". From listening to every other song in his discography, we learn that Eminem gives a very strong fuck about a wide range of issues, including his daughter, his wife, his mother, George Bush, Christina Aguilera, Detroit, other white rappers, Cannabis the rapper, cannabis the drug, Britney Spears, Lauryn Hill, Fred Durst, Carson Daily, and the Insane Clown Posse. Personally, I like a lot of Em's music, so I don't really give a fuck if he's a hypocrite. I guess this means the only person who really doesn't give a fuck isn't Slim Shady, it's Slim Skinny.

Haiku Review: The Walkmen @ Johnny Brenda's, 1/23/08

Let there be no doubt:
That Hamilton kid will win
any shouting match.

January 28, 2008

The Pony Track Packs More Than A Punch

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renown symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!

January 25, 2008

Almost Too Much This Weekend In Philly

What can we blog about Greyhounds that we haven't already
blogged and had quoted by R5 before. They're at North Star this evening, and you should be, too.

And now, the Saturday night party express:

- Super Furry Animals (pic'd) play whatever you want at the StaR5 Ballroom
- DJ RMT and Oh Murder run electro contraband upstairs at the Khyber.
- Free music soldeirs The Mural And The Mint are at The Parlor.
- Over at Tritone, Sugartown turns seven. That's lucky, punks.
- Bleached Black bumps back in the dark Medusa underground.

Whew! And just for good measure, destroy your liver on Sunday night upsatirs at the Khyber with Strawberry Mansion DJs. Because your New Year's Day hangover is almost a distant memory.

January 24, 2008

Thursday Photo Esssay

Fudging The Truth

Photo Credit)

Thursday Photo Esssay

Three Weeks 'Till Spring Training

Photo Credit)

Download: Cat Power - "New York" removed at label's request

January 23, 2008

Can't Knock The Muscle

He may claim to walk around with guns the size of Lil' Bow Wow, but he's just overcompensating for balls the size of tic tacs. Last week, 50 Cent, along with several other entertainers, was
named in a New York steroids trafficking investigation. The news comes as a huge blow to long time fans, who believed his stunning recovery from nine bullet wounds was simply the result of some B-12 shots and a rigorous work-out routine. Of course, it's no secret that Fiddy had already dabbled with other, less conventional performance enhancers, but it seems that lip-sync backing tracks (typically administered to teenagers) and black ink injections (typically administered in the ass) were insufficient stop-gap measures for his fading physique. In the wake of the news, the entire Shady/Aftermath Artist Development Center has been cast under a cloud of suspicion, and it's only a matter of time before federal investigators swarm the facility BALCO-style. Now they just need to figure out where it is.

Wordsworth A Million

People don't say "jacuzzi" anymore. They say "hot tub". And this is a tragic thing, yet another example of the decline of Western Civilization. Because jacuzzi is quite simply an awesome word. Undoubtedly this jacuzzi/tub shift came about because jacuzzi began to be associated with a sort of blow-and-models eurotrash sex binge, and in an effort to make it more palatable to suburban households They (see: the industry, media, etc.) integrated "hot tub" into the portable jet stream bath vernacular. Now, it is true that Jacuzzi is a brand name. But that's no excuse to drop this gem (see: "Xerox" vs. "copy machine"). And the point is, I don't want a tub. I want a jacuzzi. And not necessarily a Jacuzzi jacuzzi. I want the word. Because when you get a word like jacuzzi, you don't just throw that thing away in the name of a sanitized marketing strategy. You hold onto it with dear life. Words like jacuzzi don't grow on trees. They're one in a million. Think of all the words we have to describe other things that are total crap. For example, "blog". This is an atrocious word to describe a regularly updated journal-like website. Hopefully one day someone will drop a better term to describe what you're reading right now. And inevitably, the Man will force us to use a third, lamer word. Like warm circulating water, it's simply the cycle of our linguistically p.c. world. And my only solution is to t try to relax with a couple of hookers, an eight ball of blow, and a nice long dip in the hot tub.

Linked In The Dark

chocolate to healing, Hot Chip has always been an active proponent all things sexual. Now we can add explosions to that vaunted list, courtesy of a b-side Snoop Dogg cover planned for later this year.

Pitchfork writers obviously checked out that Hot Chip article the same time we did, including the part about how Joe Goddard is producing tracks for a young UK rapper called Dels. They sloppily rehash NME's reportage, toss in a strained "Ready For The Floor" reference, and post the kid's upcoming single.

Ken "King Solomon" Tesler, one of the organizers of the Coachella spin-off happening in New Jersey's Liberty State Park this August, claims that people are exagerating the show-down his festival is going to have with the proposed one in Vineland. "I really think it's two separate markets," he said. "Technically it's in New Jersey, but that's really a Philly market." Of course! The old cut-the-baby-in-half trick! Still, I'm guessing those NARCS love New Jersey so much, they'll have the Vineland festival canceled and allow the state to remain whole.

The Walkmen, currently between labels as they finish up their fifth album, will be at Johnny Brenda's tonight, along with 'Stamps pals and hot-as-magma rock 'n rollers The Subjects (pic'd). The joint is totally sold out, though, so you best have something resembling a ticket if you're planning to trek out there.

January 21, 2008

The Pony Track's Restless

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renown symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!

January 17, 2008

Over The Lips And Past The Gums This Weekend In Philly

Do you remember the big lesbian kiss episode of The O.C.? Of course you do, right down to the
music playing softly in the background. Tonight, top floor it at WXPN for a free show from Irish rockers Bell X1, and relive all the rich, beautiful, confused faux-teen magic.

Hot Hot Heat's a one-hit has-been, Louis XIV an intolerable never-was, but for all the backlash, Editors are still a perfectly good rock band. If you're packing enough drugs to get yourself through the opening acts, Y-Rock's shindig over at the Electric Factory is a perfectly serviceable Friday night live music solution.

The Turbo Station parties are always a welcome sight on the nightlife calendar, simply because they draw together all our favorite DJs in one convenient boozey blow-out. Friday night, Part Duex at The Troc features Steven Bloodbath, Shawn Ryan, and the Oh Murder Inc ladies, plus Power 99FM's Diamond Kuts, a hottie who was onto this whole "Lip Gloss" thing even before SkinnySlim. Free drinkin' from 10 to 11 makes it hot with seven t's.

Need a third Friday option? Doug Wallen is spinning over at Johnny Brenda's with live sets from, among others, The Future Tips, a veteran bunch of New Porno-pop types who seem intent on maintaining their "well-kept local secret" status for as long as possible.

Speaking of well-kept secrets, how 'bout our dirtiest little almost-jam band obsession, Grimace Federation. Philly's original vibraphone gangstas are on opening duty at The TLA this Saturday night.

Also Saturday, as previously dismissed discussed, free girly drinks and 80's music at The Electric Factory. It's all courtesy of Malibu, THE rum of choice for discerning 16 year-olds.

Thursday Photo Esssay

Spare Some Bark, Mister?

Photo Credit)

January 16, 2008

Middle Distance Rummer

Organizers of the Popped! Festival aren't moving the event to New Jersey. But they are
spamming people on behalf of Malibu Rum. Why? There's no mention of this Saturday's "Winter Beach Bash" on the Popped! web site, nor is Malibu listed as a festival sponsor (not surprising; anybody who attended the festival last year is painfully aware that pulling down liquor sponsors is not where this organization's talents lie). It seems, then, the non-profit festival's e-mail list has been turned into somebody's (???) private - and for profit, perhaps - marketing spambot. Thanks, guys. I look forward to learning how Popped! can make my penis 5X bigger and help me set up a second mortgage. And by the way, no amount of flavored rum in their cola is going to fool people into thinking that VHS Or Beta don't suck serious coconutsack.

Sometimes Links Don't Feel Like They Should

Ouch! A-Sides take a 5.7-pronged trident in the rear. C'mon, Pitchfork. If you can't say something cinematic, don't say anything at all.

The Vineland Music Festival just can't catch a break. Now, the organizers of Coachella have added piss to the NARCS' previously discussed vinegar, scheduling their own New Jersey music festival on the same weekend as the proposed Vineland affair. And theirs might have Radiohead. Damn.


The latest NME cover reveals that Pete Doherty's solo album will be nothing like heroine or super models. It's probably, unfortunately, true.

January 14, 2008

Pure Freak

Last week the World Authority In Charge of the Olympics (WACO) announced that some South African dude is
not eligible to compete in Track and Field events. The reason is that this guy, let's call him Pepe, is a cripple. Which seems pretty cruel of W.A.C.O. because, you know, Pepe's a cripple and the only thing cripples are really good for is our pity. But it seems Pepe is no ordinary cripple. See, this guy has special contoured prosthetic legs, probably made out of some high class material like fiberglass or petroniophane. So in all actuality, Pepe is a bionic cripple. Which is very frightening and foreshadows a mutant horror show for our children. In an admirable decision, W.A.C.O. took a stand against said future mutant horror show. Because as you fellow walkers can attest, legs get tired and sore and heavy when you run on them at high speeds constantly. So it's not really fair for cripple boy to use his turbo crutches in the non-Special (aka "Real") Olympics. The World Authority In Charge of the Olympics' decision has deeper ramifications outside of its jurisdiction. In particular, it calls into question the validity of freak show champion and iron stomached Larry "Iron Stomached" Albertson. Seems Mr. Albertson, known for his charisma and showmanship, lost his first stomach in a sawing-through-the-stomach magic trick gone awry. His O.S. (original stomach) was replaced by a cast iron, non stick one, which paved the way for his stunning rise in the freak show circuit. Albertson is famous for his ability to eat everything from toaster ovens to chainsaws to fiberglass to petroniophane. However, following W.A.C.O.'s lead, the stringent World Authority in Charge of Freaks is expected to announce a lifetime ban against the half machine/half freak. Because the W.A.C.F., which always puts integrity first, demands that their freaks be all natural.

The Pony Track Is Cashing In

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renowned symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!

January 10, 2008

Bust A Nutter This Weekend In Philly

Whoda thunk Thursday night's most intriguing live proposition would be at
Millcreek Tavern? Bird And The Buffalo offer up a smart slurry of melting chamber pop. Between these guys and The Neighborhood Choir, there's definitely the seedlings of a whole new shamble-rock movement here in Philly. 'Bout time, if you ask us. MySpace it for the goods.

If the dancing is more your Thursday thing, then bring your sweat-pantsed ass over to Silk City. Steven Bloodbath's Mo Money, No Problems comes correct with Low Budget guesting. Because it's never too soon to start preparing for Boyz II Men.

Any band that has the good sense to pump up the crowd with John Tesh's old NBA on NBC theme song is a band you need to see. Which is why you need to see Shout Magic at Tritone this Friday night. Of course, if your parole officer has you confined to NoLibs, there's always Movable Type, fresh out of the studio and playing their newest tunes at The Fire.

Saturday night, the InMyPants DJs are spinning deweydecimaljams at National Mechanics, part of a book drive for Books Through Bars. Donate a new or gently-used tome of non-fiction, get a free drink, and dance like Dewey himself. Note: they're all stocked up on this title already.

January 8, 2008


January 7, 2008

The Pony Track Is Nothing Without You

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renowned symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!

January 4, 2008

Narcotyzing This Function

What's new in the tumultuous world of Grizzled Grandpa Fist-Shakery, you ask? It's a new spin on a classic theme. Tired of telling individual youngsters to turn that damned music down, the old folks have expanded their vision, working the dark recesses of local politics in an effort to
block the entire Vineland Music Festival, a three-day summer affair recently proposed by the makers of Glastonbury and Lollapalooza for a large parcel of undeveloped farmland in Vineland, NJ. What makes this particular glass of hater-ade truly refreshing is the name this group of malcontents has chosen for themselves: Neighbours Against Rock Concert Site. NARCS, if you will. Before you snicker, let's at least give them some credit for being self-aware enough to recognize and appreciate the ginormous number of buzzes they'll be killing throughout the Northeast. I never would've expected that degree of lucidity. Now, onto the meat of the issue:

"Many neighborhood residents share concerns about traffic, noise, potential crime... and the environmental impact on the area..."

Okay, let me retract my last comment. These people obviously aren't even aware of the fact that they live in New Jersey.

January 3, 2008

Thursday Photo Esssay

Cold Water Wierdos

Photo Credit)

Thursday Photo Esssay

Gone Space Fishing

Photo Credit)

Songs Of The Year: "Golden Skans"

After a full 365 days of consideration, Philabuster highlights some of 07's best tunes.

So good, people had to invent a
whole new genre to describe it. So good, even the '06 demo version was hot with nine t's. So good, it snared the guitar player a hot brazillian chick. So good, the live performance made an otherwise intolerably overcrowded Making Time at Transit back in May wholly enjoyable. So good, NME declared it the best song of the year. So good, the album that houses it took home the 2007 Mercury Prize. So good, you just can't help oo-wee-oo-wee-ooing along. And perhaps most importantly, so good, it's the official Philabuster ringtone. Forget the skans, 'cause this shit is straight-up solid gold.

January 2, 2008

A Computer Bug's Life

Happy New Years, Stampers. Hope yours was better than mine. See, I've been plagued by computer problems. Computer bug problems, to be exact. And when I say computer bug, I'm not using some cute euphemism for a technical issue. I'm talking literal bugs. I have this brown ant living inside of my laptop. It pops out of the monitor or the keyboard for a second, but scurries back inside before I can smash it. At first I thought it was all very humorous, and even named it CharlieSlim. But recently, I've noticed tiny little computer ant chilrin' scurrying about my work space, signaling a full-on onslaught and infestation. I can only assume the mother and offspring bug mutants are surviving on the succulent and juicy chips inside my Macintosh. And my poor worm infested Apple is slowly dying, as if it had the other kind of computer bug. Programs are crashing, searches are slow, and I think I can even hear them gnawing at my Mac's innards. But despite all my computer problems, I see big things in '08. Why? One word: Pixar. I'm turning this whole bug infestation into a cash infestation, 'cause I'm selling the story to Steve Jobs. This computer bug thing has got intelligent, family-friendly CGI animated feature written all over it. Technology and Nature, first both at odds, but eventually coming together to fight the evil computer virus. Plus the tie-ins between Jobs' Apple Computer and Pixar companies is a product placers wet dream. So, while in the short term, these bugs are the cause of my problems, by this time next year I'm going to be preparing my Golden Globe speech and cashing my royalties for The Computer Bug. And therein lies my advice to all of you for '08. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Or in this case, when life gives you a bugged out apple, turn it into an extraordinary (cash) machine. Speaking of bugged out apples, Fiona, take it away...

Songs Of The Year: "Travailler" (Original Version & Orgasmic Remix)

After a full 365 days of consideration, Philabuster highlights some of 07's best tunes.

Step into my office, baby. Which, depending on the version of this song you're listening to, could mean either the club or the 'Buster boudoir - and I'm not saying which goes where. Either way, expect to get some serious work done. The BadmintonStamps office is fortunate enough to have a French specialist on call for truly nuanced analysis, but even a crude google translation
of the song's lyrics gives you a good idea of how real TTC keeps it. Just consider the following statement: "My business flanks of a clear correctness." Now, every night, before you fall asleep, try to reflect on the day you've had and honestly ask yourself, "did my business flank of a clear correctness today?" If the answer is "no," then congratulations: you've just discovered the reason why TTC have so much money and sex and cous cous, and you don't. For further insight on this subject, see the music video.

Haiku Review: NYE Making Time @ Transit, 12/31/07

Blown-up bathrooms, dolls.
Better tips mean better sips.
Hot Chip means night moves.

SkinnySlim's List

In Rotation...

Junior Wells - Hoodoo Man Blues Radiohead - In Rainbows Bob Dylan - Self Portrait
The Hives - The Black And White Album Jay-Z - American Gangster White Williams - Smoke