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Welcome to BadmintonStamps. We're Philabuster and SkinnySlim, representing Philly and NYC respectively. We are very good looking. Thanks.

December 31, 2007


The Pony Track Is Forgetting Acquaintances


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renowned symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!






December 24, 2007


The Pony Track Calls Shotgun In the Caddy


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renowned symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



December 21, 2007


Gallarrhea: "Go West" @ The Beauty Shop


As true renaissance men, the 'Stamps boys know both art AND what we like. Occasionally, the two even converge. When they do, we tell you how to get yourself all up in it.

'Stamps legend and Pony trainer
Julia Koprak is one of the slickest shutterbugs we know. So when she said she had a bounty of darkroom treasure from her two years living in and travelling around the Eastern hemisphere, interests were piqued right quick. Go West: Ethnic Minorities In China opened up last weekend at The Beauty Shop Cafe, and remains on display through the end of January. Philabuster's only previous exposure to the topic in question came courtesy of a short Jon Stone documentary I saw years ago, and after taking in Miss K's snaps firsthand, the movie's coverage seems woefully inadequate. That said, there were no life-sized muppets represented in any of the exhibition's twenty or so pieces, so it's possible we're not getting the full story this time, either. Damn that iron-fisted Chinese censorship!




The Ultimate Penultimate Weekend In Philly


Tonight brings you one more chance to do the ol' Girard Ave Shuffle in '07. Brown Recluse Sings and The Neighborhood Choir are boppin' hard over at
Johnny Brenda's, and any 'Stampers worth their salt already know just how good a thing that is. Meanwhile, Shout Magic top off the bill at The Fire, celebrating the release of their smoove new EP, Ceiling Fan And Other Revolutions. An advance copy made its way into the 'Stamps HQ stereo a few months ago. Needless to say, we've been waiting for this party ever since.

Saturday, get up early and head over to the Punk Rock Flea Market before the rest of the vultures start circling. If you truly believe that there is a used Jeff Ziga neck brace with your name on it, then it shall be so, my child. Would you like a vegan cupcake with that?

It's back to Girard on Sunday night, when Gang bring it home for the holidays. They'll be earthquakin' the M Room, so don't come with anything less than your best.



December 20, 2007


Songs Of The Year: "New York I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down"


The Muppet Song of the year, but unlike
last year's Gonzo voiced banger, this one is a plaintive ballad sung by Kermit the Frog. It's not easy being green and from New York, and it seems that after the Muppets took Manhattan things kinda went to shit. Not in the dirty, smelly, crime way. In the clean, safe, dull way. Kermit, as channeled by Mr. James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem, whimpers, "New York you're safer and you're wasting my time/Our records all show you were filthy but fine." Look buddy, you gotta snap out of it. This is New York we're talking about, for fuck's sake. These things come in phases. And just when you think it's all gonna end, that the gentrification and the terror and the developers and the fare increases and the velvet roped bottle service clubs are going to eat this town alive and make it burn out in a shredding cacophonous guitar solo...it comes back. Resurrected. Stronger and more beautiful than ever. New York you're perfect, oh please don't change a thing.




Thursday Photo Esssay


She's Got The Look





Thursday Photo Esssay


I Am Legend


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Photo Credit)



December 18, 2007


Songs Of The Year: "Lip Gloss"


Silliest thing I heard/read about music all year: "That Lip Gloss song is so stupid. I mean it's a song about lip gloss!" Listen up old folks, "Lip Gloss" is great for four reasons, and numero uno is that it's a song about lip gloss. What, you prefer your pop songs to be about breaking up with a boyfriend or falling in love? Sticking it to the man or getting drunk? Reminiscing abut the good ol' days? Gimme a fucking break. Lip gloss is not only as worthy a topic for a pop song as any, it's actually more interesting, unique, hysterical, and joyous than the laundry list of cliched other pop songs you like. Now that we cleared that up, on to reason number two; the song has no music. No instrumental melody lines. No harmonies. No guitar, bass, horns, strings. It only has percussion. Even The Neptunes will drop a synth on chorus. But not Lil Mama, she don't need nothing but that beat. Which brings me to reason three, and Lil Mama be thy name. Sure, her voice isn't going to win any awards and she smells distinctly of a one hit wonder, but Lil Mama got skills. Don't believe me? Try singing along and get ready for a rollercoaster ride of the mouth. She is able to rap, sing, switch the flow up, and rap and sing some more with nothing but that percussion track to support her. And she does it all while performing a song solely about lip gloss. Which brings me to reason four; this is a song about lip gloss for godsakes. Brilliant.



December 17, 2007


Songs Of The Year: "I'm A Flirt"





The Pony Track Is Not Your Bitch So Don't Hang Your Shit On It


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renowned symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



December 14, 2007


That New New York Rap


In NYC Friday night is Hip Hop Night. See rap legends
Chronikill drop songs, including the soon-to-be smash "Drinking On A Tuesday", from their new album at Don Hills. Unfortunately the rumors seem to be just that, and the new album will not be called Drinking On A Tuesday With Morrie. Come at 10pm for their set and stay all night for the soon-to-be legendary stylings of Lu...Rreals, Dx Army, and No Question?. Word is bond, yo.


December 13, 2007


Songs Of The Year - "I'm Slowly Turning Into You"


My mom won two trophies in her childhood. One was for Miss Hallworth, NJ, which makes sense because she's a beautiful, glamorous, and feminine woman from Hallworth, NJ. The other was for sharpshooting, which really makes no sense at all. Somehow somewhere my mom, who has never owned a gun, discovered that she could shoot a rifle with more accuracy than anyone in the county. So she joined her high school sharpshooting team. They would travel to state competitions and when the team showed up, the boys from the other teams would make fun of my moms. But good ol' Mrs. Slim just shut her mouth and let her guns do the talking. Hence the trophy. The White Stripes are like my mom, and yet they sure as heck ain't never win no beauty pageants. But when they showed up at the Rock n' Roll Monster Riff Competition with their pale skin, ragged hair, gawkward posture, tow toned outfits, and a chick, all the long haired boys laughed their asses off. Metallica gave them their super serious metal stare and Gene Simmons stuck his tongue out at them. Even the nice guys from AC/DC couldn't help but snicker. But the White Stripes didn't say nothing. They just let this song do the talking. And this song blew AC/DC's girly knickers down, wiped Kiss' make-up straight off their grills, and sent Metallica back into therapy. Cause sometimes it takes a woman, and sometimes it takes a woman and her skinny-assed pale brother, to turn all the big mouthed boys into a bunch of bitches.



Thursday Photo Esssay


Tapes 'N Tapes


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Photo Credit)




Thursday Photo Esssay


Chairman Of The Waterboard


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Photo Credit)



December 12, 2007


SkinnySlim's Albums Of The Year


It's been twelve months since the last time I did this, so you can finally stop holding your breath.

Amy Winehouse - Back To Black
Don't be an ass and not love this album because she's a fuck up or because she got
famous. Remember, she's a fuck up because she's a fuck up, but she got famous cause she's great.

Handsome Furs - Plague Park
It's not the music and it's not just the married couple thing that makes me think of Sonic Youth circa 1987. It's feeling that they'd cook you a nice dinner while talking to you about serial killers and dead animals. Plus they'd look fly doing it.

The Hives - The Black and White Album
RAWK AND ROLL, CAPITAL LETTER STYLE

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Is Is EP
This pretty little hate machine isn't officially an lp, so for the sticklers out there, just play it twice in a row. The YYYs are one of the most engaging bands out there. Their showmanship is astounding. The image spectacular. But image and showmanship alone don't add up to a hill of beans. Because as Alice Cooper once said on a VH1 Classic promo, "Yeah, I get it, I get it. But where are the songs?" Well, like Wendy's and beef, here's the songs.

Jay-Z - American Gangster
So classy he spells gangsta with an e-r.

Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
The little indie band that could appeared on the cover of Spin Magazine with Bruce Springsteen. They played churches in February and arenas in October. They became your twelve year old nephew's favorite band. You didn't think these guys were ever going to be your little secret, did you? They're just too...big. In every sense. And you get the feeling that this bigger (if not quite better) second album is just that: a second album. So here's to more fame, more fans, more music. Forget the next Bruce Springsteen, I'm talking the next U2.

Radiohead - In Rainbows
Leave it to Radiohead to make an album so unique, beautiful, and smart that it completely overshadows the unique, beautiful, and smart way that they brought it to us.

LCD Soundsystem - Sound Of Silver
Some chica tried to tell me LCD Soundsystem was "electronic music". Nah, yo. Not with the guitars, live percussion, strings. And especially not with the way it makes you pump your fist in the air stoned and drunk in your bathroom or stoned and drunk at their show. So forget Fall Out Boy or My Chemical Romance. Hey, as much as I love 'em, forget The Strokes, Hives, Stripes, Yeahs. This is modern rock music. And in a year where I went to some of the most memorable concerts I've ever seen, the two best were from this same damn modern rock band. Of course, it always helps when you're touring off the album of the year.

If you thought any of these albums should be included, I respect your taste in music: UGK - Underground Kingz, Little Barrie - Stand Your Ground, White Williams - Smoke, White Stripes - Icky Thump, Ghostface - Big Doe Rehab, R. Kelly - Double Up, Devin The Dude - Waiting To Inhale, Liars - Liars, Lil Wayne - Various Mixtapes.



December 10, 2007


The Pony Track Goes Ka-Bang!


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renowned symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



December 6, 2007


Four Things Jocelyn Kirsch Can't Steal From You This Weekend In Philly


Tonight at the mighty
North Star, The Major Leagues and The Neighborhood Choir are both back on stage after some seriously serious time in the studio. The first gem to surface in the wake of their efforts is TNC's pastoral "Whale Song", an laid-back jam that will have you chillaxing the way you thought only Phoenix's "Summer Days" could. Stay tuned for some exciting news about both these acts in the coming days, but please don't wait any longer to see them live.

Elsewhere, the first Friday of the month means SuperToddBros and their Oh Murder! accomplices will be turning Sal's into one big lascivious Philthy.us slideshow. Bleached Black are coming along for the dirty ride.

Saturday night, our Todd brothers from another mother in Brown Recluse Sings are doing the record release thang over at Pi Lam. For those of you who've been rockin' out to the download of "Night Train" we posted back in August (which we know for a fact is a shit ton of you), it's time to settle up and buy your very own vinyl copy. You'll have some extra cash anyway, since the show is totally free.

To be honest, we didn't have any better an idea than you of exactly what the latest Fiery Furnaces album sounds like. After a few minutes of Hype Machine research, the vibe seems to be as all over the place as ever. But so long as Grandma Friedberger doesn't clamber up on stage, we're happy to take our chances with their live show this Sunday night at the church basement. Plus, we're really feelin' these MGMT folks (pic'd) and their nu-Beta scronk.



December 6, 2007


Actually, Yes, We Do Know It's Christmas


Every year, bands with gimmicky one-off Christmas songs start e-mailing us earlier and earlier. Honestly dudes, show some decorum! I don't want to listen to your gimmicky one-off Christmas songs in October. I'm still too busy slogging through the swarms of gimmicky one-off Halloween songs from all those other bands that sound just like you. Point being, since they tactfully withheld e-harassment until two weeks after Thanksgiving, The Swimmers get their gimmicky one-off Christmas song posted here.




Thursday Photo Esssay


The Getaway


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Photo Credit)




Thursday Photo Essay


But A Dog Is A Dog Is A Dog Is A Dog


(
Photo Credit)




Forever Trill


Very
sad news. But we will celebrate Pimp C, one of the greats. RIP C, and long live UGK.




December 5, 2007


In Rotation: Black And White And Spun All Over


Here's a quick look at the albums spinning on SkinnySlim's record player this month...

Bob Dylan -
Self Portrait
Dylan's most infamous work, Self Portrait was universally condemned by critics at the time and is generally considered to be his worst album. Which of course means it's special. Back in 1970 heads must have been worried that Bobby Z. was going to have a lounge act in Vegas by the end of the seventies. Plus, it's much harder to skip songs on vinyl. Now with the advantage of both hindsight and mp3 players, the fascinating album can be appreciated in its context. Uneven is a kind way of putting it, but its bizarre and beautiful, sort of like all great art.

The Hives - The Black And White Album
A juicy steak of a record, despite its few atrocious experiments and sell out tracks. Sure, at times it comes on like Jimmy Eat World or some shit, but The Hives expanded their sound and kept their humor all to generally kickassawesome effects.

White Williams - Smoke
I'm giving my kid an alliterative name. You're just more likely to remember it (see: Jacque Jones, SkinnySlim). But White Williams could be named John Doe and you still wouldn't forget kid's blend of glam rock grooves by way of slowed down DJ Screw. Not every song works, but its the best debut of the year and your girlfriend will dig it when I play it for her tonight.

Jay-Z - American Gangster
Oh you crazy Feds, you're just like wack rappers. Try as they may you couldn't get me on the hook. I think we've written enough on Mr. Z over the last few weeks, and posted more than our fair share of new tracks, but for the record, album is hot with a high number of t's.



December 4, 2007


The Great Reveal


We've been inundated with emails and comments and death threats and fake anthrax mailings (Not funny. Seriously. Not fucking funny.) over the past five days bitching about why we ain't posting. While we appreciate the desire to read our musings, you all have to understand that sometimes we don't have time to sit in front of our computers, completely naked except for one of those
beer hats, and drop gems that will make you, our readers, cool. And listen, we want to make you cool. I'm sure you've been freaking out that you haven't been cool since last Wednesday. But the deal is, this little thing called life smacked us in the face this past week. Something tells me that's not going to be enough of an explanation. So, for the first time since the inception of BadmintonStamps - and despite all of the potential fallout - we are going to reveal our secret identities. My name is Brian Cashman. I'm the general manager for the New York Yankees. My partner in Stamping is named Philip Pullman. He's the British author of The Golden Compass (explains all the shite britpop he puts up). I've been a little preoccupied at the baseball winter meetings in Nashville, trying to make these trades. And I have no comment on Johan Santana or Hank Steinbrenner so please don't ask. Phil-abuster Pullman has been more than a little preoccupied explaining his blasphemous book, now a 200 million buck motion picture, and his general hatred for Christian values. As you can imagine, a powerful Jew and a popular Christ hater would want to keep their identities hidden while they make the world safe for indie rock and hip-hop. So we employ you to understand, have patience, hate the savior, and have a happy Hannukah.



November 28, 2007


Breaking News: The Strike Is Over


Well, the writer's strike may not be officially over, but I'm crossing the picket lines. It seems after all of that I'm not actually a member of the Writers Guild. Some know it all "writer" told me that bloggers aren't welcome in his union. Well, excuse me Mr. Buck Henry, if that is your real name (sounds like his first pet was named Buck and he lived on Henry Street if you
know what I'm saying). I don't want to be a part of your stupid Lollipop Guild anyhow. In fact, I'm going on strike against the union. How ya like them apples? Or is it, "How you like dem apples?"? Either way, the point is I refuse to join their union until they let me join their union. Us bloggers call that giving you a taste of your own medicine. And I'll let you in on a little secret: the medicine is actually a placebo. A poison placebo! I don't think that makes any sense but I'm angry, hungry, and worn out from the weeks spent on the picket line. Anyway, big thanks to my brother for filling in. I know I gave him a tough time, and let's be honest, that first week he really sucked the ass. But he came into his own. I even actually liked the psychiatrist post. Why don't you say goodbye, Scrawny?

It was a privilage and an honor to have entered your lives these past few weeks. I feel a strong bond to each and everyone of you. As Boys II Men once proudly crooned-

Not a friggin' speech, doucheherb. Anyway, your lives can go back to normal, cause the Slim is bouncin' back and ready to attack.



November 27, 2007


Sometimes A Parrot Is Just A Parrot


Psychiatrists like to think that they are to psychologists what astronomers are to astrologists. Thats because the psychiatrists have to go to medical school while psychologists just have to fill out one of those "can-you-be-an-artist" mail-in forms where you sketch a parrot. This means that psychiatrists can prescribe drugs and generally piss all over their less schooled, but parrot-sketching capable, counterparts. And these two are sure as hellfire competitive. But one thing these two rival mind fuck camps have in common is the famed "psychoincidence". What is the psychoincidence, prey tell? It's when an ologist/iatrist randomly encounters someone about whom a patient of theirs has divulged secrets. For example, they may be aware that their crazy patient has an Aunt Ida who likes to collect toenail clippings and works the jewelry counter at Macy's. When the ologist/iatrist accompanies a friend buying a pearl bracelet at Macy's from a woman named Ida, they can't help but say something like, "Those are really beautiful and would go lovely with my nail clipping necklace." Fucked up, I know, but how can they resist? For a psychiatrist, the next psychoincidence can occur anytime. It could be at a dinner party where they run into a patient's drug addled husband, or a baseball game where they sit next another patient's neurotic mother. You just can't know when. On the other hand, a psychologist will know exactly when the next psychoincidence will occur. They just look to the stars to tell them the future.




Haiku Review: R. Kelly @ The Nassau Coliseum, 11/23/07


Sea of black people
one proud white boy sings along
freakin weekend babe



November 26, 2007


Why Don't Ya Link On Over, Valerie?


Think your holiday was solid? Greg Weeks and his cohorts in cine-freaky The Valerie Project had their album's
big time 7.5 review sitting on the front page of Pitchfork from last Wednesday through to early this morning. Stuff that in your vampire turkey and cook it.

Meanwhile, Plastic Little spent last week traveling the King's highways and byways over in England, conquering trans-Atlantic audiences as they build up hype for their third single, "I'm Not A Thug", out December 10th. Pre-order now to get in on some of that sweet signed poster action. And London readers, please PLEASE tell us that at least one of you went to this. We can only imagine.

The 'Stamps boys are always huge fans of songs that reference natural disasters, but the recent tradgedy in Bangladesh has made Baby Bash's "Cyclone" a bit too guilty of a pleasure to enjoy in the short term. Thank god for local party-starters Gang. Their newest tune, "Earthquake It", was just recently added to their MySpace page, and can be relished completely free of any major current events stigma.

Don't say we didn't warn ya. Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings are at the TLA in just about three weeks, making their first proper Philly showing since, get this, the Five Spot back in 2002. Our call: brace for an early sell-out. This thing is like Making Time with Hot Chip for the XPN membership subscription crowd, so we highly suggest picking up your tix in advance. David Dye has a posse, and they will swarm on command.




The Pony Track Travels The Far Seas


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renowned symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



November 23, 2007


Two Holes


SkinnySlim is currently
on strike. In his absence, his scab of a twin brother, ScrawnySlim, will be writing for the site.

I think I speak for all of us when I say that I've had enough with these trashy Hollywood chick celebrities. These no talent, spoiled celebutantes are lucky we pay them any attention. In effect, they've hit the lottery by landing some minor role or Maxim spread or sex tape, and they're nothing more than a dime a dozen. However, trashy Hollywood dude celebrities are a completely different story. They're pre-ordained by a higher power to be famous. Mr. God himself marks all future male celebrities with an unmistakable feature. He adds another hole to the tip of their penises. It's much like Jesus' stigmata, and only slightly less macabre. Whilst most of you mere mortal males have only one hole on the tip for semen and urine, us famous kids have two holes; one for urine and semen and one for Cristal Champagne. Why do you think the Puffys and Clooneys of the world enjoy Cristal so much? It's cause it flows freely out of their cocks. It's not uncommon to find the V.I.P. room of a club filled with famous guys releasing fountains of Cristal directly into a patron's mouth (clubgoers beware: Jim Belushi likes to use the other hole. Sick bastard). Of course, the Godster is the biggest celeb of them all. That's why he, and only he, has three holes in on the tip of his penis. One for urine and semen, one for Cristal, and one for chocolate cake icing. God loves using all three, but especially his unique third hole, which explains why the sweets in heaven are so particularly divine.



November 22, 2007


Thanksgiving Day Photo Essay


Tryptophanatic


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Photo Credit)




Thanksgiving Day Photo Essay


Turkey Music


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Photo Credit)



November 20, 2007


The Late Fall Classic


SkinnySlim is currently
on strike. In his absence, his scab of a twin brother, ScrawnySlim, will be writing for the site.

It's been quite a week for sports scandals, what with Michael Vick beginning his prison sentence for a dogfighting conviction and home run champ Barry Bonds being indicted for general assholery, but who would have thunk baseball golden child and Scrawny and SkinnySlim hero Derek Jeter would be added to the mix. Seems that Jeter is in trouble with the taxman. He declared himself a primary resident of Florida, which happens to have no state income tax, but has not spent the required 183 days in the Sunshine State required to legally establish residence. Sure, Jeter makes his millions playing a game in New York from other New Yorkers who pay state income tax, but we should have sympathy for the Yankee captain. That's because the whole thing is a misunderstanding, for his intentions were more about patriotism than the bottom line. See, Jeter didn't move to Florida to avoid paying taxes. He moved to Florida to vote. Everyone knows that while Florida is a key state in Presidential politics, where one vote really can make a difference, New York is a shoe-in for the doobie smoking, decadent Democratic hippie candidate (I'm looking at you, Dodd). Jeter just wanted his vote to count, and this entire brouhaha could have been avoiding with the abolishment of our antiquated Electoral College system. That's why I support Derek's latest idea for solving the problem, The Presidential Playoff. This revolutionary and entertaining method is basically a nationwide political playoff bracket. We'll have multiple mano-a-mano votes in a three round system mimicking the baseball post season. Instead of the American and National Leagues, we got the Democratic and Republican ones. In the Democratic League, out of the East, there's Hillary. She's taking on Wild Card winner Dennis Kusinich. Out of the Central, Obama will face off against Edwards. On the Republican side, Rudolph Giuliani is pitted against surging Wild Card Mike Huckabee (riding strong off his kick ass ad campaign), while Romney is up against the aging Veteran John McCain. With this new system not only will every vote count, it'll count over and over again. What could be more exciting and democratic? The whole thing lasts a month, and what a month it is. 'Cause as current MLB spokesman / douchebag and future National Political Spokesman / douchebag Dane Cook will soon be telling us, there's only one November.


Interesting concept, Scrawny. Hillary was built to win in the regular season, but if Kusinich campaigns twice in a short series, who knows?


November 19, 2007


The Pony Track Can Whip It Good


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renowned symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



November 15, 2007


Thursday Photo Essay


Skip Slept With A Honkey


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Photo Credit)




Thursday Photo Essay


Man Without A Face


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Photo Credit)



November 14, 2007


Foggy No Show


A day late and $499 short? We sincerely hope you weren't relying on Philebrity to give you a heads-up about the single hottest concert to hit the city since Radiohead's Tower two-fer. Because Jay-Z's show at the TLA
did not, in fact, take place Tuesday night. It happened on Monday. Thanks for trying. Seriously, we'd chalk this lapse up as another "old white guy out of touch with young/black people" thing, except Valania seemed to hold it down just fine. Of course, it might simply be a case of pulling information from some bad listings. Really, who knows?



November 13, 2007


Hov Is What We Got


SkinnySlim is currently
on strike. In his absence, his scab of a twin brother, ScrawnySlim, will be writing for the site.

Things I learned at the spectacular Jay-Z concert at the intimate TLA in Philly last night:

- As a white boy, when Jay-Z requests that you tell him what his motherfucking name is (Jigga!), please do so with enthusiasm. You cannot, however, tell him who he is rolling with.

- Philly is so serious about their smoking ban that they will even take your lighter at the door. If you wanna smoke that herb, make friends with the cool kid to your left who knew to sneak in some fire. Thanks cool kid!

- When Jay-Z asks for the lil' mamas, purdy ladies, shorties, or babies to show him what they got, he's not talking to me, and, although challenging, I should refrain from cheering.

- While you should not normally knock a towering bald man hard in the back of the head, doing so during a performance of "Heart of the City" seems acceptable.

-The Roc Boys were in fact in the building last night. They are indeed the dope boys of the year. Yet while many drinks were drunk, said drinks were not on the house.

Much love and thanks to Philabuster for taking me under his wing and letting me roll to the show. Blood be damned, he's more a brother to me than SkinnySlim ever could be.




Who Let The Links Out?


The 2008 Popped! Festival
goes official with its biggest of big names, The Roots, who are slated to perform Things Falll Apart from end to end in the headlining slot. Not to spread too much second-handedness here, but the gossip about this event's planning is all big risks and skin-of-teeth margins. We're hoping for the best, but color us skeptical until it, you know, actually happens. Right now, when you google "Popped!", all you get is pimples.

Our pals Greyhounds are, despite the best efforts of some skeevy booking agents, still on the bill for Friday night's CYHSY! show at the back-in-badness Starlight Ballroom. And what's that on the R5 concert page? Why, they've taken our humble little opinions as gospel, printing a description of Greyhounds that is lifted word for word from a show preview we ran in September. Uncredited, natch, but we'll let it slide this time.

Until last week, Brooklyn Vegan had never heard of My Bloody Wilmington's Sky Drops and their shoegazey grooves. Which goes to show you how hollow and empty an existence even some of the biggest music bloggers may actually lead. Not these ones, mind you, but some.

This evening at The Khyber marks the Philly debut of Golden Dogs (pic'd), a super-fun Canadian pop band that we've been feeling at 'Stamps HQ for quite some time. Craziest part: if you heard 'em without knowing anything about them, you'd swear up and down they were from Philly. They just have that jawny, jangly sumthin' that the 215 pumps out like tastykakes. Listen and be astounded.




Haiku Review: Jay-Z @ The TLA, 11/12/07


Best rapper alive,
small room, live band, all the hits,
black barmitzvah-style.



November 12, 2007


The Pony Track Got The Beat To Make Your Booty Go...


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renowned symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



November 9, 2007


Why Do Black People Talk At The Movies?


SkinnySlim is currently
on strike. In his absence, his scab of a twin brother, ScrawnySlim, will be writing for the site.

I went to a screening of an Iraqi war film last night, and was struck yet again by how much African Americans love to talk during the movies. And it's not just topics of conversation related to the film, either. The black people behind me were saying things like, "I'm hungry" and "I think I'm going to go bowling later." Basically they were just letting there internal monologue rip. What is it about a movie theater that brings this out? Cause it's not like you see black people saying this stuff to themselves on the subway. Movie house talking seems deeply ingrained in the culture, and my guess is that it has roots in the Oscar Micheaux's first run barnstorming tours in the early 20th century (I'm dropping some of my brother's African American Studies college major knowledge on ya'll here). Whereas other ethnic talkers are simply assholes, black talkers seem heartfelt and genuine. When you tell an Asian or and Italian to shush in a movie theater they will either begrudgingly obey or cop some serious attitude. But when you tell a black dude to shush, they look at you like you're from Mars with an expression that says, "Have you lost your mind? This is movies. You know, where we come to talk." Of course, sometimes the snappy comebacks of a crowd is much appreciated, like at some Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Teen Wolf Vs. Robocop type shit. Or like this one time in the early nineties when I went up to Magic Johnson Theater in Harlem to catch a flick. A guy behind me really lightened up the mood with comments like, "Damn, that's a lot of names" and "Yo, tap that Helen Hirsch ass!" The film was called Schindler's List and I must say that, due in large part to this wonderful black heckler, it was one of the funnest movie experiences I've ever had.



November 8, 2007


Thursday Photo Essay


Building Blocks


(
Photo Credit)




Thursday Photo Essay


Keep Fallin'





Haiku Review: Menomena @ First Unitarian Church, 11/7/07


My, so many beards!
On stage! In the audience!
Is Man Man jealous?





November 7, 2007


Shake Appeal


SkinnySlim is currently
on strike. In his absence, his scab of a twin brother, ScrawnySlim, will be writing for the site.

We've recently gone over the various joys of giving 5, but what about a less recreational, and more socially important, form of hand communication? Yes, I'm talking about the handshake, a social custom dating back to the days of Sir Walter Raleigh. The hand has changed little since the first Queen Elizabeth's Court, although us young cool kids don't always know whether to give the proper handshake or the more laid back "open hand pound". The open hand pound is obviously preferred. It's saying, "Hey, call me Scrawny, cause Mr. Slim's my dad and this ain't my daddy's handshake." Unfortunately, sometimes you don't know if your shake partner will be receptive to your pound. This can lead to awkwardness, a tentative sort of poundyshake that gets the meeting off on the wrong foot. In addition to shake styles, you also have to worry about encountering the "death grip". The death grip is when an overcompensating douchedbag grabs your hands and squeezes it as tightly as he can, as if this in some way proves anything other than him being an overcompensating douchebag. Although strongly discouraged in all other scenarios, when forced to hand interact with someone known for there their death grip it is acceptable to instead "hit the rock" with a closed fist. I mean, your safety is at issue. But what if you're not an overcompensating douchebag and you want to make a strong impression and gain the (cough) upper hand? Well, last week I went to a shindig and had the pleasure of shaking hands with an older Indian man. He introduced me to the newest and most effective form of handshake domination, "The Ne'er Let Go". In this brilliant maneuver, the Indian pleasantly smiled and shook my hand with a solid but not-too-firm grip. And then he didn't let go. He didn't loosen the grip, as I did, indicating the shake was completed. He just held on and kept shaking that hand. It was like, "Hey man, I like shaking your hand. I enjoy it. I'll shake the fuck out of your goddamn hand all night. And you're gonna have to let go, pull back, disengage when you can't handle it any more. That's how we do it, gringo." I was blown away. I had to (cough) hand it to the brother. He gained my respect and fear by playing a more psychological than physical handshake game. I walked away defeated and humiliated, freaked out and thoroughly shaken.



November 6, 2007


The Union Forever


As you have probably heard, the Writers Guild is currently
on strike. That means no soap operas, variety shows, sitcoms and whatever the hell this is. The major issue at hand is how to compensate writers for "new media". New media is what is called a "buzzword" even though it's actually two words and no one knows what it means. From what I can gather, the union scribes want cash for internet downloads. Which sounds pretty good. Which is why I've decided to join my brothers in the guild. That's right, I'm on strike. One more time: I'M ON STRIKE! No money, no funny! No cash no...writey things (hey, I'm on strike, give me a break). Of course, in my case, I want money for illegal music downloads, so that's probably going to be a pretty big sticking point. I see this thing going on for quite some time. Luckily I've stockpiled a month's worth of Photo Essays and a one and a half seasons worth of Two And Half Men scripts for when this stoppage ends. But until that day comes, my posts will be written by my non-union scab of a twin brother, ScrawnySlim. Say hello Scrawny.

Hey guys! I'm really psyched to-

I said say hello, not give a speech.

Sorry.

It's okay. But don't screw this up for me, bro. I got fans to please. Or should I say I got fans for you to please. Anyway, as you readers can see, ScrawnySlim has his own color. That way you'll recognize his inferior writing as of a decidedly non-union quality. Now please excuse me, I have a picket line to go pick up arty writer chicks on. They're going to need a union leader like SkinnySlim to keep them warm on these long days of not working.



November 5, 2007


The Pony Track Is Doin' A Double-Take


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renowned symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



November 1, 2007


Thursday Photo Essay


Hitting The Fairway


(
Photo Credit)




Thursday Photo Essay


You Talk Way Too Much


(
Photo Credit)



SkinnySlim's List



In Rotation...

Junior Wells - Hoodoo Man Blues Radiohead - In Rainbows Bob Dylan - Self Portrait
The Hives - The Black And White Album Jay-Z - American Gangster White Williams - Smoke


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The 700 Level
Best Week Ever
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Product Shop NYC
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