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The Embassy - Tacking Justice - Cross Hot Chip - DJ Kicks
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Welcome to BadmintonStamps. We're Philabuster and SkinnySlim, representing Philly and NYC respectively. We are very good looking. Thanks.

June 29, 2007

Get Your Mind Back In The Gutter


June 28, 2007

Thursday Photo Essay

Playing Rough

Photo Credit)

Thursday Photo Essay

Dutch Girls Are Easy

Photo Credit)

June 27, 2007

There Is A Link That Never Goes Out

Morrissey cancelled his Philly show this Friday due to a throat infection. Not surprisingly, Philebrity is
super disappointed. Surprisingly, said disappointment is not sponsored by Live Nation.

From the Department of Shit We Totally Would've Complained About If Anyone Had Bothered To Tell Us: The Kensington South Forum is totally no more. We'd have taken a cue sooner from their months-out-of-date web page, except by that logic Tritone would've closed like three years ago.

Oh snap! Tritone updated their web page! Well if that don't beat all. The Sky Drops this Friday night and Panda Riot on Saturday, apparently.

Smooth operatin' R5 cops to the fact that their Battles/Fucked Up show on July 19th "is destined to be the biggest sausage fest ever," and counters with a limited number of half-price "Ladies Night" tickets. Can Jersey skanks, $3 You-Call-Its and between-band sets from the Tiki Bob's DJs really be that far behind? For the love of all things hot, sticky and sweet, I hope not.

June 26, 2007

Summer Of Love

The fate of the world is in the hands of the pop charts. As any sociologist worth his weight in academic tenure and adoring loose female grad students can tell you, the most popular summer anthem in any given year directly correlates to the state of the nation. For example, in 1996 our country was experiencing a "
Pax Americana" and reaping the fruits of an economic boom. The number one summer jam that year? Tupac's "California Love", a ditty about fun, sun, and groupies. And what tune dominated the summer waves of 2002, when the USA was basking in post 9/11 unity, ready to cash in on the goodwill of the world? Nelly's "Hot in Herre", a ditty about fun, taking your clothes off, and groupies. But this summer, the number one breakout song is Rihanna's "Umbrella". And when the young starlet sings about her umbrella (ella, ella, ella), she ain't talking no Japanese sun umbrella (ella, ella, ella). She's talking about a good ol' fashioned American rain umbrella (ella, ella, ella). And rain doth not a good summer make. We don't want to repeat previous years' poorly themed summer song mistakes. Just last year, when war and corruption plagued our streets, the summer's hottest anthem was Chamillionaire's "Riding Dirty", a song about racial profiling. And us history buffs surely recall that in 1935, during the height of the Depression and the Dust Bowl disaster, the biggest club banger was Django Reinhardt's "I's A-Muggin'". Presumably it's a song about a protagonist who mugs people for their New Deal doled-out chump change. So please, let us not repeat the mistakes of our elders, and save this great land whilst we still have the chance. We must stop listening to Rihanna and keep her Jay-Z featuring infectious catchiness off the charts. It's our choice as pop culture consumers, and it's our duty as patriotic Americans.

June 25, 2007

The Pony Track Is Waterproof

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renown symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!

June 22, 2007

Jimmy Hat Humor

Like humans or cheese, a timeless joke has a lifespan. These bits of comic treasure start of as simply funny but soon mature into classic. From there, the joke is referred to as well worn territory, until it finally becomes cliched. Unlike humans or cheese, however, there is an afterlife for tired jokes. A humorous bit metamorphoses into some sort of mutant gag, becoming funny again exactly because it's cliched. Take, for example, the once classic, then cliched, and now kinda funny again Condom Price Check Bit. Your favorite sitcom star embarrassingly goes into the pharmacy to purchase some connies, avoiding social interaction. He/she skillfully hides her LifeStyles from the Nosey Neighbor and Billy America, the kid he/she is tutoring. But the then the unsympathetic fooltard at the register loudly calls out on his microphone, "Price check on extra small condoms! I need a price check for the sitcom star right here!" Hilarity first ensued (circa 1987). Then knee slapping recognition (circa 1988). Finally cliche set in (circa 1988-2006). But I say it's 2007 people, and the time has come to bring back the condom gag that never really went away. I mean, our star went to all that trouble to hide their purchase, and the clerk blew it. It's gold!

June 21, 2007

With My Jeans On And My Team Strong This Weekend In Philly

Ben Morgan, who's about as about the music as anybody we know in this town, says that the two shows he booked this evening with reunited 90's cult hero lez-rockers Team Dresch "are the most meaningful I have ever put on". Geez, Ben; why not just kick the Popped! Festival in the nuts and steal its ice cream? Whatever, we're not getting in the middle of a domestic. Rotunda at 6 PM for the kids,
Millcreek at 9:30 for the 21 pluses.

Friday night, members of Grimace Federation are doin' the collaborative thang with DJ Luke Raws and some local hip and/or hoppers over at the World Cafe Live. The party, dubbed Subliminal Orphans, promises cyphers, live art, and free admission pyramid schemes. Street, indeed.

Elsewhere Friday night, Philly's own Tickley Feather (pic'd) is opening up for Panda Bear at the church basement, doing the sort of meandering non-song things you'd expect a sexy one-woman Panda Bear opener to do. And if you don't know what those things are, you may not be ready to find out.

Saturday night, get back in Bleached Black at Medusa. Nice 'n simple 'n drunk.

Thursday Photo Essay

Suit Up

Photo Credit)

Thursday Photo Essay

Cold Beverages

Photo Credit)

June 20, 2007

Cleaning House

I must fess up about last week's
Girlfriend Track. Pulp's "Pencil Skirt" wasn't my first choice. It's not really a song that, if my girlfriend said turn this up, I'd be turned on. It's more just a song I would expect my girlfriend to appreciate. My real selection was Snooky Pryor & Mel Brown's "Let Your Hair Down, Woman", but my computer was acting the fool and signifying all anti-Snooky on my ass. Consider it fixed and see below.

In a unrelated note, it's White Stripes week! A very lucky SkinnySlim kicked it off by attending their Conan O'Brien taping. An extremely lucky SkinnySlim then caught their intimate and thoroughly rocktastic show at Irving last night. Catch Conan clips and show info here. And of course, you gots to snatch up that Icky Thump...herrrr.

A giraffe.

And don't miss our nemesis Apteka Thursday night at Pianos with The Jealous Girlfriends. Read about our beef with the email inept band here. And no, they aren't really horrific.

June 19, 2007

LL Cool SkinnySlim

One of the great pleasures of writing/editing/mavericking this site is hobnobbing with the fans. Although it should come as no surprise, it comes as a surprise to find that so many fine, delectable lady folk chow down on the fresh meat Philabuster and SkinnySlim cook up daily. Through these past two years, I've been able to meet a diverse group of female fans, including teachers, philosophers, jews, actresses, nuns, assassins, limeys, musicians, jews, and jews. Besides being so damn hot, said hotties like to boogie, as evidenced by the latest email I received from BStamp babe
J "Cash$$$" Turner. She writes, "Will you please post the AWESOME Kelly Rowland song 'Like This'? I keep listening to it over and over and it has me dancing around my office in my rolly-chair. I don't even mind the part where Eve raps *again* about how hard it is to be a girl with cash." Sure thing, Cash$$$ Turner! And hey, any self-respecting sexy 'Stamper isn't going to let financial insecurity get in the way of a good rolly-chair time. Just don't forget to invite the baddest boys of the blogosphere along for the ride, because one sexy-assed dance-loving beauty deserves two others.

June 18, 2007

Mothers, Sexjams, Daughters & Wives

Gun violence claimed another victim in Philadelphia over the weekend, when Making Time was tragically killed with a Colt 45. Okay, so maybe the substitution of sour malt liquor for the crisp PBRs and Sparks psychocandy usually available during open bar hours wasn't solely responsible for the disappointing evening, but it surely didn't help. Just as culpable were Voxtrot, a band who are about as well-suited to perform at an all-night rager as Bishop Allen or Matt Pond. The results spoke for themselves: a club that felt disarmingly empty (no line for the bathroom, what?), and a live set that rarely inspired people to move more than their nodding heads once you looked past the first two or three rows. Not that you (or
me, or Philebrity) couldn't have seen this all coming. Of course, yours truly did still manage to get in some steppin' before and after, as did 'Stamps familiars like Big Bruce Warren, Herbie and Ryan BRS, the Oh Murder gals, and fetching comment mistress Lauren. Still, the most crazygonuts of dance parties may be the one you throw for yourself this Thursday, when both Simian Mobile Disco and Justice officially drop their debut albums Will this be the first showdown of the great dance music rivalry we've all been waiting for? The Blur vs. Oasis of sexjams? Hopefully it won't turn too ugly, because we'd like to remain friends with both if possible.

The Pony Track Parla Vou Le Langage De Wreckless

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renown symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!

June 15, 2007

You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Sneezy

Plenty of people are stressing over the nine-foot python that's loose somewhere in the city. It seems snakey pissed off The Man after
it gobbled up a couple kitten mcnuggets underneath a house in Bucks County. The reptile's predilection for feline feasts is a-ok by me. Philabuster, if you didn't know, is quite allergic to cats, and generally despises them, so the tale of this boa-at-large is naturally reading much more like that of a vigilante folk-hero than nightmarish menace. Still, if this innocent creature is going to be painted a villian by a media machine that still laps milk out of Big Kitten's hand, at least we've got the right people in town to bring him to justice. Because where "animal control officers, police and a plumber" failed, we think Lou Ferrigno can and will succeed. I just hope that, once Anaconda vs. Hulk is all wrapped up, those animal control officers fare better at contaning a hairy, hopped-up Ferrigno and legions of over-stimulated ComicCon onlookers than they did a limbless escape house pet.

The Girlfriend Track Lets Its Hair Down

The Girlfriend Track is song that SkinnySlim deems sexy for a lady to feel. We're talking about songs where, if my girl said "Yo, turn this up", I would be turned on.

There's the virgin and there's the whore. And for us redbloods out there, well, we love 'em both, especially when they're packaged together. Possibly nothing exemplifies this dual v/w hotness better than a women who holds her hair in a bun with a classroom pencil. Hair up, this pencil signifies an attractive simplicity, a nonchalant style that exudes modesty and intelligence. Hence the virgin. Yet, like any other
Vogue devotee will tell you, a true fashion statement is so much more than it's superficial surface. The moment our bookish beauty has to write out a late pass for some tardy young SkinnySlim, it becomes the perfect excuse to go for that pencil locked in her locks. Practical? Of course. But she knows it's damnhella sexy as well. As she removes the number two from her tightly wound bun, her hair shakes free, and the wild child is born. She sees me coming down the hall and just happens to drop the hair clip/writing utensil behind her. Oh no! The studious tartlet must bend over and pick it up wearing only her button up shirt, black stockings, and extra short skirt. Miss Librarian! You're a naughty naughty, good good girl.

June 14, 2007

Thursday Photo Essay

Oh, I Want To

Photo Credit)

Download: B-52's - "Roam"

Thursday Photo Essay

Balloon Belly

Photo Credit)

June 13, 2007

Robots, Boxers, And Old Men With Pencils

Watch it again. Seriously, this has gotta be one of the best music videos of this decade, no?

Cheering With Your Wallet

June 12, 2007

We Link With The Fishes

Aaron "Pony" Child writes in, "What ever happened to The Vines and The Hives? Hanging out with Dave Coulier?" Well Pony, after flipping off BadmintonStamps founding member SkinnySlim at a VMA Party in 2002, The Vines' lead singer Craig Nicholls was hit with a vicious verbal jab from BadmintonStamps founding member SkinnySlim. It's too vicious to repeat here, but let's just say it involved comparing his diminutive stature to the buttock size of his female companion. Dom Delouise snaps were thrown and the zings were all-around biting. For Nicholls, it was all downhill from there, with a long list of disappointments topped by an assault charge and an
Asperger's diagnosis. That's what you get for giving me the finger, ass burger.

The Hives recently cut a new song with Timbaland (hot female wrestling video here) and are now readying their next album of garage hits. They have never given me the finger.

As for Dave Coulier, he was last seen in a Member's Only jacket stepping out of the men's room of a diner in New Jersey and putting a bullet in some Italian guy's head head. It was an ugly scene. Thankfully I passed out right before it happened; I heard nothing and it went dark.

People bet on sports because they know there is going to be a winner. People bet on television because they're ass burgers.

You've been singing Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" for days. Capone and Nore have been sampling it for years.

June 11, 2007

The Pony Track Enjoys Some Shade

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renown symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!

June 8, 2007

You Better Be Quiet Now

How do you tell a woman that she's running her mouth too much? Well, there's the direct approach. Take for instance The Strokes. They tell their muse flat out, "You talk way too muuuuccchhh!!!" Then we have their one-time touring partner The White Stripes. Jackie White prefers a more oblique, backhanded way of telling his woman that she may be a little loose in the lips. He informs her that, "300 people living out in West Virginia have no idea of all these thoughts that lie within you." As for the rest of the non super rural population? One can only assume we have way too good of an idea of all the thoughts that lie within her. Of course nothing cuts to the chase like a little Trick Daddy. Wait, what's that you say? "This song again? You've posted it three times already and as recently as April." Uh-huh, okay, what up? You talk way too much.

June 7, 2007

Thursday Photo Essay

Apostle Of Hustle

Photo Credit)

Thursday Photo Essay

No One Understands Him But His Mohel

June 6, 2007

The Girlfriend Track Never Grows Up

The Girlfriend Track is song that SkinnySlim deems sexy for a lady to feel. We're talking about songs where, if my girl said "Yo, turn this up", I would be turned on.

Like my homeboy
Ron Paul, I believe you gotta do what you want, and if other people/the government give you shit then just tell 'em to keep your name out their mouth. That's why I'm not passing judgement, but sexual fetishes, man that stuff creeps me out. I'm talking about anything foot, Asian, or old fingernail related. I am not talking about skinny white girls who like hip hop and Woody Allen. That does not a fetish make. Of all these perversions, the most bizarre and disturbing are infantile obsessions, which usually involve baby talk, diapers, and general nursery shenaniganry. SkinnySlim would never think of indulging in anything approaching this level of tastelessness. That is until Lil Wayne dropped his new song. This one is so groovesmoothfantastic, it's simply irresistible. When that "la la la" hook drops all baby-talk like, I can't help thinking of my girl singing along nursery rhyme style and I realize it's time to take out the baby wipes. Then she'll shake her rattle and suck on that cherry lollipop while we rock the crib until the bars come off.

June 5, 2007

Hail To The Pimp

Dennis Kusinich is a liberal vegan Congressman running for President. Fred Thompson is a moderate conservative ex-Senator and typecast actor running for President. What do these two have in common (besides the fact that they're running for President)? Trophy wives. And as far as trophies go, you can't get much better than wife.

In the left corner, Dennis Kusinich's 6-foot tall, natural redhead wifey is a British citizen thirty one years his junior and seven inches taller. In the right corner, Fred Thompson's well proportioned, probably not natural blonde is twenty seven years his junior and seven inches bustier. So what do you think, Stampers: which one would make the best First Fox?

June 4, 2007

There Is No Other Place I Wanna Link

Rumors (ok,
ours) of US Funk Team's death have been greatly exaggerated. They're back, and now with more Jesus Jones than ever.

You probably thought you had a good idea of just how ridiculous The Faint's lead singer looked at Making Time's 7th Anniversary. The merciless lens of YapSnaps demonstates just how short your memory falls of the horrible purple snakskin-patterned truth.

And June's Making Time featured player is...Voxtrot? Pardon the pessimism, but something tells me the mild-mannered Cold War Kids set coming to see this band's first ever Philly show is going to be slightly less than enamoured with a loud-as-fuck club party where dancing people keep bumping into them. Christ, it looks like even the flyer had to be dumbed down. What's next: Sufjan at Shampoo?

In case you missed it, The Pipettes took a moment out of their kiss-wasting and shape-pulling last night to show some mad love to none other than Brown Recluse Sings (pic'd), who apparently passed the ladies some discage prior to the show. "Fucking brilliant" is how they described the boys' Black Sunday EP, before urging the packed house to get in the know, and damned if the 'Stamps doesn't agree.

The Major Leagues are the latest Philly up-n-comers to step inside Dr. Dog's studio and throw down. The results, including slow roller "Moonlit Daydream," are all that and a bag of soft Wilco pretzels. They'll be giving away some hand-made copies of the new tunes for free after their set tonight at The Khyber.

The Pony Track Is A Mellow Equine

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renown symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!

SkinnySlim's List

In Rotation...

LCD Soundsystem - Sound Of Silver Arcade Fire - Neon Bible Hot Chip - DJ Kicks
Devin The Dude - Waiting To Inhale Chess Club Rhythm And Soul Ultimate Coleman Hawkins