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Welcome to BadmintonStamps. We're Philabuster and SkinnySlim, representing Philly and NYC respectively. We are very good looking. Thanks.

January 31, 2007

You Call That A Link?

Pitchfork is practically tripping over themselves to annoint every fucking band on the planet. Five "
Best New Music" titles handed out in the month of January alone, to go along with five more "Recommended" titles and a new "Forkcast" section that hypes dozens of tracks without any sort of rating system, only a lukewarm assurance that it's something the writers are "really psyched" about. Hmm. Before Schreiber and co. take another dig at bloggers, I'd remind them that it takes one to know one.

Thrilladelphia '07 gets pushed back until the summer. Philadelphia Weekly hijacks the entire line-up for their own festival - Popped! - happening April 9th through 15th, when Thrilladelphia usually happens. Philebrity receives the same mass e-mail press release as everybody else and hails it as an "exclusive". Cue (Alternate, shorter write-up for this item: "Local bands play shows!")

Alex Kapranos launched his own foodie book, is producing the new Cribs album, and is ready to begin work on a new Franz Ferdinand record. Ah, that's better.

Other sites give you a link to Katrina Kerns' musician MySpace page. BadmintonStamps hooks you up with her personal one. The difference: way more pictures. Among our favorites: horseback Katrina, strawberry Katrina, and the always popular damn damn sexy Katrina.

Just Ok Computer

The encore is a delicate artform and, like the art of love, it is practiced by many but perfected by few. This past Monday I had the pleasure of catching/heckling Swedish pop rock sensation Peter Bjorn and John. The show was
quite awesomlicious, but things almost turned dark come encore time. Since there's no backstage at Mercury Lounge, the boys half hid at stage left as Mr. Bjorn said something to the effect of, "Pretend we've left and you've cheered for us." Hardy har har indeed. But somewhere, lost in the midst of their cuteness, Petey had escaped! Frightened like a bunch of wet puppies/Swedes, Bjorn and John stared blankly, two yings without their yang (or butter and jelly without their peanut). Pete's arrival was finally heralded by a new brown button-down shirt, and the band launched into a Swedish pop rock song that was perfectly decent, but not up to the mind blowing quality of their end-of-set triumph, a dancerific rendition of "Up Against The Wall". Thankfully, PB&J were able to regain steam and end their superb show on a high note. Many bands are not so lucky. After spending an entire concert gaining momentum, a band can hit a wall during an encore. Fatigue, drug come down, and poor song selection yield encore melancholy, and even great bands run the risk of suffering encoritis. At the 2001 Madison Square Garden show documented below, Radiohead come out mistake-ridden and slightly flat for their first encore. For shame! But, being the bestest band they are, they redeem themselves. Coming out for their second encore, the boys grace us with just the right amount of limey banter, then launch proudly into a goddmanit kickass rendition of a goshdarnit kickbutt song.

January 30, 2007

New Playlist: 'Bout Fucking Time

Over the last couple months, Philabuster has been working like a dog. And not a cute puppy, either. I'm talking about a work dog. Like, a Husky who pulls some fatass yelling "mush" on a sled across the Alaksan tundra. With only so much time available to dedicate to bloggerly endeavors, something had to be set aside. And since my commitment to top-notch content during the week was paramount, updating the playlist was the task that regrettably fell by the wayside. No longer! I present you with a Bauer-esque batch of 24 songs, all in one way or another about that damned ticking clock. You've got a bit of everything: battle-tested stalwarts, yeomen indie troopers, new hotness (the Klaxons LP is totally blowing up my shit right now). And sweet jesus have you heard that Junkbox song? Just giving you the stream wouldn't be fair. So hit up that blue radioblog post-haste and rock around the clock, 'Stampers.

January 29, 2007

Hint: It Rhymes With "Taking Mime"

Things have been quiet on the Making Time front since the
beardy boozed-up get-down of New Year's Eve. But now things are stirring again at RVNG headquarters, and Philabuster's here to give you the straight poop before anybody else. First, flip your calander over to March and circle Friday the 30th. That's when Norwegian geek squad (and last weeks' Friday Freakout featurees) Datarock will be responsible for completely raddening your evening over at Pure. And if you're ready to write these guys off as just another 8-bit electro-pop outfit, then you need to check out their slinky, grind-tastic "Maybelline" pronto. Think Ying Yang Twins for the I.T. department.

But that's not the only time getting made this March. Our crack investigatory unit has learned that, on either March 9th or 10th, Philly will be getting a visit from everybody's favorite Ice Cream/Intel pimps, New Young Pony Club. After skipping past us several times last and early this year, the dancey London quintet will finally dip their dipper in the city of brotherly love, en route to what looks to be a SXSW clusterfuck of epic proportions the following week. It's worth noting that the 'Stamps predicted this grand conflunece of Pony Club and sexjam way back in March of last year. Granted, said prediction was for a June '06 date, jumping the gun by about nine months. Whatever. All that means is I'm nine months ahead of even my own ridiculously hip curve. With that handicap in mind, expect to see jowl-warming Mutton Chops pop up just in time for '07's mid-autumn chill.

Ver Everybodiz Knowz Yer Namenze

The Pony Track Always Says Oui

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renown symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!

January 26, 2007

The Friday Freakout Is Very Tastefully Done

When an e-mail from Playboy pops up in your music blog's inbox touting something called "Rock The Rabbit", it's difficult not to be just a little incredulous. Logic tells you it's an announcement about Staind and Hoobastank co-headlining some charity gala for faulty implant victims. On the other hand, there's a decent chance there are semi-nude pics of hot women on the other side of that mouse click, so logic is quickly abandoned. Apparently, Rock The Rabbit is a multi-pornedpronged assault on the lucrative indie rock demographic. An admittedly impressive assortment of artists - Soulwax, Tahiti 80, Lil Jon, Kasabian, Metric...even local so-so's Illinois - design unique t-shirts, the originals are auctioned off for
LIFEbeat, yada yada. Been done before. But the real attention grabber: the t-shirt roll-out will be accompanied by an extensive "visually driven" feature in the February 9th issue of the magazine, including photos of the participating musicians. Perhaps this is a good time to mention that Stellastarr* is also one of the bands in that exclusive air-brushed club. Suffice to say, Amanda Tannen gracing the pages of Playboy is about as brain-melting, grotto-shaking, Friday Freakout-worthy a proposition as ecstacy ice cream. Plus, we'll all finally see what's goin' on underneath that Panda suit, whether we want to or not. Thanks, Heff!

That's Booji, Baby

Besides fresh beef and fresher ladies, there's nothing that gets the 'Stamps boys all hot under the collar like new Hot Chip musics. Well, Wondertwin powers activiate! Form of: Booji Boy High, a side project named after a fictional character created by the previous generation's musical nerd champions, Devo. The name works on so many levels. Moving past the obvious physical resemblance between the character in question and soulful Hot Chip front man
Alexis Taylor, there's that delightfully open-ended "Booji" staring you right in the face. The old-school Devoriginal pronunciation of the word is actually "boogie", a fitting if somewhat dated description of the behavior this particular crew has been known to inspire. But we're just as apt to go in another direction here and pronounce the "j" how mother nature intended, casting "booji" as the commonly accepted hip-hop slang for "bourgeois" (St. Lunatics trooper Ali explains it better than we ever could). Given the Chip's indie celeb status and the fanfare with which their entire DFA posse now rolls, this alternate interpretation seems equally viable. So, in which camp do you fall? Disco wishes or caviarsexjams? The only rational way to decide is to stream their first two songs right now on the DFA MySpace page.

January 25, 2007

Thursday Photo Essay

William Oliver, Esq. Gets The Job Done

Photo Credit)

Thursday Photo Essay

Comin' Head To Toe, Sayin' Yes And No

Photo Credit)

Wu-Tang Links Ain't Nothin' Ta Fuck With

"How could hip-hop be dead if Wu-Tang is forever?" Mr. Rza, when you're right, you're right. The new Wu album, 8 Diagrams, is due out
this summer.

Speaking of super heroes, Albert Hammond, Jr. is another musician who spends his down time fighting crime in the streets. But instead of using some slick armoured car like The Rza, he just uses his bigass tour bus. Hey, whatever works.

Berks County, PA is also on the Wu bandwagon: some of y'all might know it for its wallabies. Experts have confirmed the similarity of 'roos and Wus. “They’re violent when confined or restrained,” humane society officer Dylan Heckart said Tuesday. “They can definitely injure a human being badly.”

Oh, Boston Herald. You're really not helping the city's image any when you run a feature hyping this guy as New England's first Wu-Tang affiliate. For more unintentionally comedic quotables than I can count on my fingers and toes, read the full article. And for the very intentionally comedic quotables, read the comments Roxone is sure to leave in response over the next hour or so.

January 24, 2007

BadmintonStamps Will Now Root For The Colts

Here at BadmintonStamps headquarters we receive over one hundred emails a day. We get fan letters, record label promotions, party and concert invites, and lots of helpful suggestions from our extensive
BadmintonStamps Support Team. SkinnySlim does his best to read and respond to all of these emails, and makes extra sure to craft a careful reply to all personal letters, cause I'm not King Herb like this guy. I also do my best to reply to band requests sent specifically to us. Some of these band emails are written with the Badminton in mind, and others are clearly form letters that they send out to many websites. A couple months ago my inbox lit up with a "listen to us, we're actually not horrific" email from horrific Chicago band Apteka. Problem was, they addressed the letter to semi-legit music site 3hive. It's all good in the hood, mistakes happen. I politely replied that we were the well respected, classy bad boys from BadmintonStamps, and not whichever also ran is responsible for 3hive. Case closed. But this past week we received yet another email from Apteka addressed to 3hive. This error crosses the line from mild retardation to full-throttle beef. We are the Gods of the Internet and refuse to be mocked, insulted, or mocksulted. I mean, would a well respected, classy artist such as Alicia Keys like it if I posted her song, but labeled it as some crappy Apteka song instead?

January 23, 2007

The Girlfriend Track Is Delaying Its Hangover

The Girlfriend Track is a song that SkinnySlim deems sexy for a lady to feel. We're talking about songs where, if my girl said "Yo, turn this up", I would be turned on.

There are Girlfriend Tracks where you and your girl smoke trees at lunch at your resort off the Almalfi Coast. There are Girlfriend Tracks where you and your girl get pissy in the club. There are Girlfriend Tracks where you and your girl roast marshmallows at night on a camping trip. Then there are the Girlfriend Tracks where you and your girl went to a wedding, then a concert, then a club, then a bar, then an afterparty. You stumble into the crib at five o' seven in the morning just in time to catch that "what the fuck is that blue light streaming through my windows" moment. You're burnt, wasted, tuxedo torn and frayed, her stockings with no panties ripped, her lipstick smeared on your shirt, someone else's lipstick smeared on your shirt. You go to the fridge; she snorts something you want no part of; you take out a bottle of champagne; she slips off her heels; you pop the cork; she thumbs through your records and drops the needle. You put your hands on her, pour the drink into her mouth, and listen to Tricky. Make a mental note: you're going to need to call a maid, and possibly a moving service, cause the night is just getting started.

January 22, 2007

Breaking News: John Kruk Trapped In A Passionless Farce Of A Marriage

Remember kids, true love means never having to say you're passing up a fourth helping of meatloaf.

Swing Low Sweet Pony Track

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renown symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!

January 19, 2007

Four Things That Have Nothing To Do With Pro Sports This Weekend In Philly

Tonight, Girl Talk at
Johnny Brenda's is sold out like whoa. But word on the street is that Mr. Mashup likes his sets short - perhaps too short? Remember, hell hath no fury like Philly hipsters scorned. Mashup cheap Brenda's booze and a packed house in the already lawless Nolibs, and you've got yourself this weekend's most likely riot.

But why mess with all that nonsense when you've got two perfecly good homegrown alternatives? First, El Dorado get all "who the fuck is Yo La Tengo anyway" up in your grille. Yeah, it's at The Fire, but think of how many people are gonna end up walking over there anyway after police break up the JB's fracass.

Or avoid that whole Girard quagmire and head South, where our homies from Brown Recluse Sings will be throwing down in epic fashion. The venue of choice, on record as The Bread Bin, is actually just Herbie BRS's casa. House parties: not just for West Philly anymore! A mere $5 gets you in the door, and the 4-band bill also includes garage-spazz wunderkinds Cause Co-Motion. This is just about as serious as fun gets.

Saturday night keeps on keepin' it local, as original vibraphone gangstas Grimace Federation (pic'd) drop in on World Cafe Live for an album release party to end all album release parties. Besides their usual jazzprogrock genius, the debut full-length, Tasted By Chemists, features verses from indie hip-hopper Aesop Rock and the Afrobeatyousilly stylings of Antibalas. And for this momentous live show, GFed will be coming very correct, backed by a full horn and string ensemble, djs, visuals, and more. Zowee!

The Friday Freakout's Ramping It Back Up

Now that Andy Reid and that tremendous brain fart of a 4th & 15 punt have been properly exhausted as objects of the city's anger and criticism, it's time to turn our wrath upon far more serious transgressors. Or don't you believe that Lincoln Financial Field management was secretly rooting for the Saints on Saturday night? See, after Garcia and company sunk the Giants with a game-ending field goal on Jan. 7th, the mass exodous of fans re-exposed the troubling architectural instability of the stadium's exit ramps, which supposedly "
swayed like the deck of a cruise ship" for the second time this season. The Linc directors, in a classic display of the "why fix today what could fail disasterously tomorrow" mentality that has served the 2-1-5 so well in the past, promised additional support bracers in the off-season. But you and I and Sal Paolantonio know that everybody over there was holding their collective breath in anticipation of a potential Championship Sunday home field catastrophy. With nearly half a year now before the structure sees crowds of any particular volume again, you can expect stadium brass to take the thrifty route, crazy-glueing some toothpicks onto the side of the ramps and then letting Father Time work his memeory-erasing magic on an unsuspecting and heavy-drinking fan base. To regain some public goodwill, how 'bout a commemorative bobble-stadium giveaway on opening Sunday? I'll roll with it, so long as they also start playing the "Love Boat" theme song over the PA at the end of every game.

January 18, 2007

Dr. Hasil Adkins...The Recording Artist

Although not often well regarded by critics, the 1980's saw many cinematic masterpieces. I am partial to Amedeus, The Last Emperor, and Hamburger...The Motion Picture. Not to be confused with the unrelated and also excellent
Hot Dog...The Movie!, the more distinguished Hamburger...The Motion Picture is a pillar of eighties cinema. Upping the meat title ante, note how Hamburger...The Motion Picture does away with Hot Dog...The Movie!'s gimmicky exclamation point. It also displays class by ending with ellipses "Motion Picture" as opposed to the more plebeian ellipses "Movie". This wise marketing decision was unfortunately not enough to secure Oscar gold, as Hamburger...The Motion Picture came up short against the long forgotten Platoon. Adding insult to injury, Hamburger...The Motion Picture star and NFL Hall of Famer Dick Butkus lost best actor to Paul Newman on what is widely regarded as a sympathy vote. Still, despite its award season disappointments, Hamburger...The Motion Picture can still cling to the distinction of being the far superior Popular Meat Item Ellipses film, mainly because it is actually about hamburgers. Hot Dog...The Movie!'s inane plot involves a sexed up teen ski slope romp, while Hamburger...The Motion Picture keenly chronicles the sexed up teen adventures of a twelve week fast food training course. While both are worthy films, in the end it's Hamburger...The Motion Picture that devours the competition like it's name was Kobayashi and Hot Dog....The Movie! was a hot dog.

Thursday Photo Essay


Photo Credit)

Thursday Photo Essay


Photo Credit)

January 15, 2007

First They Hyped The Middling Indie Rockers, And I Did Not Speak Up...

All those who would level barbed comments and snide remarks at the Philadelphia CityPaper (and yes, we realize that we ourselves are frequently included in that portion of the ven diagram) can at least admit: even the clog wouldn't spew forth journalism as quarter-assed as this loverly little
think piece we stumbled across just recently in the District of Columbia's CP doppleganger. In his article entitled "Kill Your Darlings" (halfway down the page), Jason Cherkis just can't keep our name out his mouth, essentially blaming yours truly for giving the 2006 Tapes 'N Tapes snowball a giant rolling push down hype hill.

Blogger BadmintonStamps’ mixed review of Tapes ‘n Tapes’ Jan. 11, 2006, show (“While there were some less-than-stellar moments, the hits definitely outnumbered the misses”), did little to stall the hype. On Feb. 28, Pitchfork bestowed a coveted 8.3 rating on The Loon. In April, the group signed to XL Recordings — home to the White Stripes, Thom Yorke, and Devendra Banhart — which reissued The Loon.

Forget that he completely buries the lead by ignoring the local fan fury in the comments. If this DC dipshit had done even the slightest bit of actual research for his article instead of scanning in between bong hits thirty minutes before his deadline, he might have realized that there are far worse hype-ocrits out there than me. Like, oh, I don't know...THIS GUY??? Sorry, but this Tapes nonsense is one indie rock fiasco you can't pin on the 'Stamps. If anything, you should be thanking us for introducing the world to Hot Chip. As is, your whole case is stale like week-old Amoroso's.

The Pony Track's Gonna Go To Jail

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renown symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!

January 12, 2007

Like A Fireflower Whatwhonow, Pirner?

The runaway song has been rock and roll standard since the birth of time, or at least the birth of Del Shannon. The wandering star, rolling stone story is a perfect theme for lead singers to emote about over a serious, over-wrought musical accompaniment. Besides the aforementioned Del Shannon "Runaway", we have been blessed/burdened with such gems as Jefferson Airplane's "Runaway", The Temptations' "Runaway Child, Running Wild", and Bon Jovi's "Runaway". The runaway video was also popular motif in the eighties, used in such classics as Pat Benetar's epic "Love Is A Battlefield" (in which, if my VH1 Pop Up Video sources are to be trusted, the actor who played Pat's brother ran away from home in real life) and pretty much every Tom Petty clip. Here at B.S. East Coast Headquarters, we know the best runaway video is Blur's high-sterical
"Coffee and TV". But the ultimate runaway song (and video; it saved kids lives!) is Soul Asylum's heart wrenching "Runaway Train". Who could forget the angst, the guitar strumming, the dreads, the Winona? But, with the exception of the ludicrous Ludacris song "Runaway Love", Hip Hop has for the most part sat out the runaway song troupe. That's all changed now that Badminton faves Devin the Dude, Lil Wayne, and Bun B have teamed up to record the ultimate hip-hop runaway anthem. I know that if my girl ran away, there's no one better than the triple threat of Devin, Weezy, and Bun to get her back/exploit her tragedy. Go find her, boys!

The Information Superfreeway

That big dial tone, then static, then beeping, then static, then screeching, then "you've got mail" sound you've been hearing everywhere today is the result of our friends at Earthlink turning on
free wireless internet service for more than fifteen square miles of the city of Philadelphia. Until January 21st, every wireless-enabled compy inside the big urine stain outlined by our go-to cartographer D-Mac will enjoy complimentary trial access to the new, soon-to-be city wide network. The 'Stamps boys humbly suggest visiting Love Park with that sexy new laptop you snagged for Chrismukah, loggin' on, and downloading some of these fine, illegaly distributed mp3s for pretty much the ultimate free music experience.

January 11, 2007

Thursday Photo Essay

Don't Body Yourself

Photo Credit)

Thursday Photo Essay

Read Between The Letters

Photo Credit)

January 10, 2007

McGwire Fared Only Slightly Better On This Ballot

Let's take a listen to the new Rock & Roll Hall of Famers, shall we?

Hey, Patti, good job. Those years hanging outside of Max's waiting for the cool kids to recognize you finally paid off.

No Cherone? For shame, Hall of Fame, for shame.

I'm not really sure who these "Ronette" characters are, but whoever produced them has mad skillz. Here's the best Rock n' Roll song ever. Hit it Ronnie!

Fun fact: Grandmaster Flash did white lines while he recorded this song. I'm personally looking forward to their musical contribution to the end-of-ceremony group jam session.

And more Patti! With her fellow inductees, Athens, Georgia's own R.E.M.! Fun fact: I know a hot girl from Athens, Georgia.

January 8, 2007

The Girlfriend Track Goes Both Ways

The Girlfriend Track is a song that SkinnySlim deems sexy for a lady to feel. We're talking about songs where, if my girl said "Yo, turn this up", I would be turned on.

What is it about Australian women that gets me worked to the up? Maybe it's the contradictions. You've got a nation full of sweet faces with ancestral
criminal pasts, ladies with beautiful melodic accents that curse like sailors. Maybe it's their light hair or maybe it's the freckles. SkinnySlim is a sucker for the freckles. Of course, the fact that they're not afraid to go down under doesn't hurt. But I think it's mostly my fantasy of taking a walkabout with a fine Australian hotness while blasting some of the natives' finest rock and roll licks that gets me all Girlfriend Track hot 'n bothered.

Snoop. Kells. Pony Track.

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renown symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!

January 6, 2007

Saturday Night: More Fun Than A Block Full Of Mummers

Quick reminder: even string bands and fancies can't top the line-up tonight at
The Khyber, where two of the 'Stamps favorite local rock music acts are proudly on display. Brown Recluse Sings and US Funk Team join forces and kick off the '07 concert season in fine style. No banjos will be permitted inside, though you are still encouraged to engage your fellow concert-goers in running PG commentary on the bands' choice of dress and theme. Suck on that, Fralinger.

January 5, 2007

Mother Arcemerus And Thom Sleep With The Fishums

I can often be found pondering Greek philosopher Arcemerus' famous "rowboat" dilemma. In short, you're on a rowboat in the Aegean Sea and both your mother and the last known copy of Plato's Republic tip over. You can only save one; which would it be? Side note: Many people aren't aware that this is not a hypothetical, but actually occurred during a particularly stormy Arcemerus Family fishing trip. Unfortunately for tenth graders, Mrs. Arcemerus' death was untimely and cold. Since I have little love for either Arcemerus' moms or Plato's Republic, I replace the examples with variations of my own. Would I save my Mom or the last copy of the original Star Wars trilogy (former), my best friend's brother or my cat (former), all of the towels in the world or an innocent child (toughie), my Grandfather or the last copy of the original Star Wars Trilogy (latter). And let's not forget the Sophie's Choice of Arcemerus Rowboat Dilemmas; the booty or the booby? Recently my friend proposed quite an enticing ARB; Radiohead's music or The Ramones' music? While the Radioheads are my favorite band of the last ten years or so, this fragile world cannot afford to live without the shot of adrenaline, the purity, and the awesomeness that is The Ramones. So rock on Joey, Johnny, Dee Dee, and Drummer. And Radiohead, while I'm sorry to see you sink, you're into that tormented death shit anyway.

January 4, 2007

Thursday Photo Essay

Pull To Reset

Photo Credit)

Thursday Photo Essay

Playing Funky Tennis Is His Claim To Fame

January 3, 2007

Auld Link Syne

Eaglemania development #147: NeckBeard is
neckback! Congratulations, Koy Detmer - you're the Doug Mirabelli of professional football.

If I was the Russian billionaire that just made George Michael the highest paid performer in the history of the nation, I'd probably want to remain unnamed, too.

Those long hours holed up in a mystery Philadelphia recording studio last November have finally born musical fruit. Go stream a rough demo of "Warchild", a brand new Stellastarr* track, at the band's MySpace page. Then buy your tickets to see 'em live at North Star on February 15th.

Philly's own Space 1026 gets Pitchfork ink for their newest photography exhibition, opening this Friday and running through the 27th. The installation includes snaps of a bevy of indie rock who's-whos, including Elliott Smith, Les Savy Fav, Air, Ted Leo, and Modest Mouse front man/Wolf Parade discoverer Isaac Brock, each portrait literally guaranteed to have been shaken like a Polaroid picture.

January 2, 2007

SkinnySlim Is Still Better Than Eli Manning

I'm an exceptional many things, one of which happens to be athletics. However, if this past weekend taught me anything, besides the fact that you really can't put tin foil in the microwave even if you pretend you're Jesus and "bless" it first, it's that I can no longer be a professional football player. And when I say football, I don't mean soccer. Obviously I could be a professional soccer player; all you got to do is run around a field and not use your hands. So as long as you're not a compulsive masturbater you can be a professional soccer player. Alright, now that you mention it, there would be some obstacles for me to overcome, but none of them have to do with athletic skill. But back to real man's football. Whilst a couple years ago I could've played free safety for NFL teams, this New Year's epic game, played at my homie's home in the deep country, proved that whilst I possess the necessary acumen and skills to dominate my peers, I no longer have the stamina or bone structure to be a Cincinatti Bengal or Major City's Whatnot.* Sure, as QB I easily led my Hampton Hooligans to a tie against our bitter rivals, the Sucky Suckersucks. But this Monday morning quarterback's' body, which feels slightly worse than if a freight train, followed by a buffalo stampede, followed by another freight train filled with buffalo had hit it, is telling me that my days as a "Could be an NFL player" are sadly gone like 2006/my homie's microwave.

* I'm not sure what "acumen" means, but I used "whilst" twice in that sentence, so there.

The Pony Track's Ready For Another Year

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning calendar year, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renown symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!

Music posted on this site is for sampling purposes only. If you enjoy the songs posted here, please go out and buy the records! If you are the copyright holder of any material posted here and would like it taken down, please contact Philabuster, and your request will be honored immediately. Please do not direct link to any of these songs. Thanks for your cooperation, and enjoy the sounds.

SkinnySlim's List

In Rotation...

Clipse - Hell Hath No Fury Bruce Sringsteen - Born In The USA Pavement - Wowee Zowee
Half Japanese - Charmed Life Califone - Roots & Crowns Stereolab - Sound-Dust