In this weeks edition of Musical Classroom, allow SkinnySlim to present some good ol' guitar-based beef.

Song: Pavement - "Range Life"

Background: In the mid nineties, overwrought mainstream bands like the Stone Temple Pilots and The Smashing Pumpkins shared the "alternative" label with cred-obsessed indie bands like Superchunk and Pavement. Being the super-cool indie kids' super-cool indie kid, it was Stephen Malkmus' job to hate these mainstream poseurs. Malkmus expressed his slacker disdain in "Range Life". Corgan was none to pleased, and called out Pavement in a Rolling Stone cover story. It is rumored that Corgan was instrumental in keeping Pavement off of their headlining Lollapalooza gig. It was also humorously rumored that Pavement sideman Bob Nastonovich once drove Billy Corgan to the airport and Corgan was very rude.

The Diss: Malkmus sings, "Out on tour with the Smashing Pumpkins, nature kids/I, they don't have no function/I don't understand what they mean and I could really give a fuck/The Stone Temple Pilots, they're elegant bachelors/They're foxy to me, are they foxy to you? I will agree it isn't absolutely nothing, nothing more than me". This last line seemed to get lost on Corgan (STP were too junked out to notice the diss at all). Interestingly, the diss was not present on an alternative take from the same session.

Eric Burdon

One thing I know a lot about is soothsayers. As my friends will attest, I can see the future. I will often be found saying, "Hey, I'm just soothsayin', (insert thing that becomes true in the future)." In fact, my grandfather was a traveling soothsayer named Sam Kutikoff, Seer of the Future. Unfortunately, he tragically died with several peers at the annual Trenton, NJ Soothsayers' Convention in what is now famously known as the Soothsaying Massacre of '47 (who knew?). Because of my soothing history I have always had a fondness for The Bard's classic Julius Caesar, which features one of the greatest soothes of all-time: "Beware the Ides of March!" Needless to say, Julius didn't listen to the Sayer and he went down like it was 1947 and he was the keynote speaker at the Soothsayer's Convention in Trenton, NJ. Not many know that the Ides only fall on the 15th of the month in March, May, July, and October. The rest of the time, it falls on the 13th, making this song a sometimes-Ides worthy tune. It's from Wire's hit and miss album 154 (the song was also covered to mixed results by Fischerspooner), but I highly recommended picking up their classic debut Pink Flag.

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic long distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!

Julie Christie, The Rumours Are True

First off, let me acknowledge with much respect due, I think Billy Joel is herb. Having said that, one of the deepest sentiments a rock lyric has ever dropped is, "When will you realize the yellow waits for you?" Ponder, if you will, that moving affirmation of life. Cause we all know every time you're driving in your car and you see that yellow light you ask yourself, "Can I make it or should I stop?" Well guess what? You can make it. Why? Cause that yellow light, it waits for you. It lets you decide. It says, "If you wanna do it you can do it". And you should do it. Because you only live once and there ain't no time for fooling around, especially when your name is Billy Joel. Anyway, the lyric in question is actually, "When will you realize Vienna waits for you". Which is fine, I guess. More herbed out, but I'll take it. Vienna waits for me. Billy fucking Joel.

Allmusic says: The first major blues and jazz singer on record and one of the most powerful of all time, Bessie Smith rightly earned the title of "The Empress of the Blues"... At a time when the blues were in and most vocalists (particularly vaudevillians) were being dubbed "blues singers," Bessie Smith simply had no competition... Although she was dropped by Columbia in 1931 and made her final recordings on a four-song session in 1933, Bessie Smith kept on working. She played the Apollo in 1935 and substituted for Billie Holiday in the show Stars Over Broadway. The chances are very good that she would have made a comeback, starting with a Carnegie Hall appearance at John Hammond's upcoming From Spirituals to Swing concert, but she was killed in a car crash in Mississippi.

SkinnySlim says: Bessie sang about getting drunk, getting high, and getting dick. She was kind of like the Lil Kim of her day, except more raunchy and talented. On the first song she claims that she don't want no pork chop, just give her gin instead. But she probably wouldn't have minded having the pork chop as well. On "Kitchen Man" Bessie explains, "His frankfurters are oh so sweet, how I like his saucy meat." Bessie you naughty, naughty girl.

Comb On Over Here

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic long distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!

Somethin' Ain't Right

Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic long distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!